A) Nod knowingly while noting how the work eschews traditional figurative representation in an effort to access a rawer, more visceral, emotional universality.
B) Daydream about wealth, fame, and the day that whatever it is you've been doing in your basement for all these years will have its own museum.
C) Comment loudly that it looks like something that your five-year-old daughter could have painted.
D) Punch and scratch the painting, pull down your pants and rub your ass on it, then fall down and pee on yourself.
If you answered "D" you might be Carmen Tisch, 36-year-old art participant, who did just this to Clyfford Still's "1957-J no.2" on December 29 at the Clyfford Still Museum in Denver.
|Carmen Tisch. Vandal, or performance artist? You be the judge. Image via MSNBC.|
So, that's good news, I guess."It doesn't appear she urinated on the painting or that the urine damaged it, so she's not being charged with that," said Lynn Kimbrough, a spokeswoman for the Denver District Attorney's Office, said Wednesday.
|1957-J no.2, but before or after the ass rubbing?|
Actually, the museum ought to be paying her a commission for adding an awesome narrative to a piece of art that would not otherwise be of interest to the vast majority of the public. The fact is, a whole bunch of people will probably go into the museum now who would not have before. A few of them are going to look around and say, "Hey, this stuff is actually pretty cool."
Thank you, Carmen Lucette Tisch. You're like the drunk, pantsless Bill Nye of mid-century American abstract expressionism.